Sex in the CISV.

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How many people you know have met their girl-friend/boy-friend wife/husband in CISV? How many people join CISV activities, because the enjoy the safe setting to engage in a romance? How many people take part in CISV programmes because they think they can easily get laid? How many people do you know, have had their first sexual experiences during a CISV camp? Isn't intimacy between members of the leadership group part of every CISV camp? Is sex possibly one of the strongest motivators for volunteers to take leadership positions in CISV activities over and over again?

These questions have never been officially dealt with, for obvious reasons. The only official document dealing with the theme is R7 and maybe some programme guides, disallowing intimacy between adults and minors. But precisely because it's such a culturally sensitive issue, this topic deserves more attention.

Don't forget: You can always comment anonymously! Oh...and I hope the spam-bots don't jump at this one.

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Isn't this all about "Building Global Friendship"? ;)

I'd say "Building global friendship with benefits" pretty much hits the nail on its head...

On the politically correct side of it; the number of CISV girl-friend/boy-friend wife/husband couples is high, as it is in most volunteer organisations, simply based on the amount of time spent together. Could not find any statistics to back it up though.

As for the politically incorrect side; what happens when you "lock in" young people far away from home? :) And given that you most often are not going to meet again... quite some opportunities.

(This post was posted by anonymous for the sensitivity of the subject and the reputation of the country in question)

I have been part of JB X for a long time. I have held the position of NJR in JB X and in the many weekends we had under my reign there was no "sexual intimacy" involved. But what used to happen in JB X was most of the times when the activities are over and the night gets in its late hours, were what I like to call "Let's share our sexual experiences" kind of games. JBers get to ask other JBers about their sexual endeavors, their likings in the JB, the farthest they have gone etc...

What I have noticed over the many weekends was that such games and such "sharing" sessions were VERY exclusive and very embarrassing and annoying to some people. Not everyone is proud that they had sexual experiences in and outside of CISV and some don't believe that they should be having such experiences and don't want such experiences. But the problem always was that these people get marginalized, get ousted from the group, get laughed on, get labeled as "uncool" and get called hurtful names just because they believe in something called "no sex before marriage".

I have seen people get hurt from this issue. I have seen people re-question what they believe in and what they think is right just because everyone else is making them feel like they should. I have witnessed people crying over this and feeling so wrong because they have not had any sexual experience yet - even though they were pretty fine with that before the weekend.

So thank you Nick for bringing this up. The issue of Sex and CISV has been avoided for so long and it's about time it gets addressed. It's time we, as adults, start being good examples to the kids at the camps and stop having secret sexual intimacy acts that the kids are fully aware of but we all pretend they aren't. This will only get them to think it's ok to do it since the adults are doing it.

I cannot stand one more time to look into a parent's eyes and lie to them and tell them everything went fine and their kids were angels at the weekend or the camp while in reality they were doing things their parents would go ballistic about if they knew it happened to their "underage" child.

Thanks, Anonymous, for your great input. I think this adds another flavour to the discussion, and that is, that sex is also the topic of many games and discussions, that take place beyond the official activities.

Personally, I would encourage leaders, to make this an official topic for kids to talk about, give them a nice, comfortable setting, and help them exchange thoughts, even experiences, without being embarrassed.

I'd just be worried that the more conservative parents may see this as a reason to withdraw their kids from CISV altogether...

CISV fucked my life...
After reading what a bunch of folks went through with their girlfriends... and what happened with my girlfriend when she went to a Seminar Camp... I must say CISV and the whole Building Globar Friendship is a really fucked up thing...

@qwerty: Sorry to hear that. Please remember that the relationship thing is only one part of the whole organization, so I disagree with you on your last sentence. Sorry again though :-(

@Nick: You asked if sex could be the strongest motivator for leaders.
I would like to add that maybe it is not sex but the possibility to meet "like minded mates" and maybe meet someone to start a relationship with AFTER the camp. That's how it works for me.
But it is more an appreciated side-effect of camps. It is not the reason to go to camp or not. That I do because of the kids.

Qwerty is probably not the only one with an experience like that - from the top of my head I know at least two people with similar negative feelings towards CISV.

The truth is, I believe, that in CISV camps, people are usually encouraged to reflect themselves, which leads to a lot of questioning of the current status quo: Am I happy with my life? My girl-friend/boy-friend???

I think it's interesting to see that other similar youth organisations that bring people together from all over the world also end up having many relationships, flings and hook ups. Even UNESCO's youth forums are full of these sort of things. I believe it is natural when you bring a group of volunteers who share a belief for a cause, put them in a setting where they are living together in a camp or conference in an intense environment, it's just bound to happen.

I don't think we should be stopping it, because well we can't and shouldn't. But I think it's definitely important to start talking about it and have people aware that it could happen but it's important to realise that it is not why we are here.

*Building global friendship is misleading in that sense as well.

Whenever youth / young adults are put together and are working closely together in an environment separated from "real life" this is bound to happen. I have even seen the same story in professional life. (Imagine a cross-over between work and Seminar Camp!)

In CISV you sort of have two versions though; that happening on a programme, and that happening from working with the same people over years, to the point where your co-volunteers are also your closest friends.

Well I've been on Exchange for a year... and I've made global friendships that will last forever.
I just find that the whole Seminar Camp setting... and activities to be quite... Americanized. I mean... I´ve seen some activities and come on... stereotyping the High School Characters for a day? Quite poor...
Anyways I mean I wouldnt do it, but theres a bunch of people who have fun with it. I just don´t believe thats the way to aproach global friendship...
I still believe that it would be a cool way to spend a 3 weeks holiday though... but thats about what it is... a Holiday.

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This page contains a single entry by Nick published on July 26, 2010 12:54 AM.

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